Marsha Chanšs ESL 970G Advanced Grammar and Editing
http://wvmccd.angellearning.com/
Writing Assignment: Post a message on the
Paragraph in the present time frame (100
pts). Due date: 11PM Fri Mar 18. Observe your surroundings carefully. What can
you hear, see, smell, taste, and/or feel? What are you and the people (and/or
animals) around you doing at this moment? Write a paragraph of 150-175 words
using different action verbs in the present progressive (action verbs), simple
present (nonaction verbs) and modals. Refer to AEG Chapters 4 and 5. Use
subjects in the first, second, and third person singular and plural. Use at
least one of each sentence type, in any order: simple, compound, complex, and
compound-complex. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement (SVA) and
subject-pronoun agreement (SPA).
A successfully written paragraph recounts actions happening around you at a specific time and place. It uses present progressive (action verbs), simple present (nonaction verbs) and modals to describe what the writer hears, sees, smells, tastes, and/or feels. The paragraph is unified, coherent, logical and comprehensible. It starts with a clear topic sentence with a controlling idea, continues with descriptive details, and ends with a concluding statement. The paragraph contains a variety of sentence types (simple, compound, complex, compound-complex). The sentences are error-free or contain minor errors. The writer uses a variety of well-selected verbs to describe or explain actions that are occurring in the present time. Subject-verb agreement and subject-pronoun agreement are observed. The paragraph is written in an academic and/or professional tone. It meets the word length criterion of 150 to 175 words. Through proper word choice and sentence structure, the paragraph enables the reader to visualize the actions and/or conditions in the present truth time frame easily and vividly.
Less successful paragraphs may have errors of the following types, alone or in combination:
The purpose of the paragraph is unclear or incorrect.
The paragraph tells the reader what to do, what happened, or what will happen, or what usually happens instead of describing what is happening right now.
Ideas are expressed unclearly or illogically.
Ideas are expressed unclearly, ambiguously or illogically.
The paragraph reads like a conversation, an advertisement, an email message, or a personal journal entry instead of an academic piece of writing.
The paragraph contains short simple sentences with elementary vocabulary.
The sentences lack variety and sophistication in type and word choice.
The sentences overuse simple common verbs such as BE (is, are), HAVE, and DO.
The writer did not edit the sentences for the most serious errors (fragments, verbs, agreement, run-ons or comma splices).
The writer did not edit the sentences for the intermediate errors (parallelism, word order, word choice, word form, articles).
The paragraph contains many mechanical errors (punctuation, capitalization, and spelling)
Click here to view the Correction Symbols.
Each paragraph was analyzed with WebVP to reveal the scope and type of vocabulary used in the paragraph. Words from the Academic Word List (AWL) are yellow. K2 words (the second thousand words of English) are green. K1 words (the most basic 1,000 words of English) are blue. Other words are red. The first 2000+ words of English are found on the General Service list (GSL).
AEG Chapter 4
Verbs in the Present Time Frame
Forum: AEG Chapter 4 Verbs in the Present Time Frame
Date: 03-16-2005 16:01
Author: Aulakh, Gurinder <gurinder@supertex.com>
Subject A REVERIE[1]
------------------------------------------------------------------------
All human beings daydream. There
is a controversy about whether all life forms have reveries; right now, we will
leave it to the scientists to figure that out. Human beings definitely indulge in this seemingly pointless activity, in which their minds
wander. I am sitting at my desk; the smell of food is wafting in
the air,[2]
since it is lunchtime; occasionally, I get up and go to a window
just to gaze out[3]. I see
that petals are floating in the wind, birds flying around in
playfulness and bees flitting among flowers;[4]
I feel mentally uplifted, which is a rare feeling to have at work. My
colleagues are passing by my cubicle; as they do so, they are
throwing oblique glances toward my desk and wondering if I have gone
out of the building today. But, probably as you can anticipate, nature[5]
always brings us back to reality; I hear a page for me over the
intercom.
Families Types Tokens Percent
First 500: ... ... (113) (71.52%)
K1 Words (1 to 1000): 72 83 129
81.65%
Function: ... ... (85) (53.80%)
Content: ... ... (44) (27.85%)
K2 Words (1001 to 2000): 6 6 7 4.43%
AWL Words (academic): 5 5 5 3.16%
Off-List Words: ? 17 17 10.76%
83+? 111 158 100%
Words in text (tokens): 158
Different words (types): 111
Type-token ratio: 0.70
(Tokens per type: 1.42)
Function-content ratio: 0.54
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Onlist Tokens: 141
Onlist Types: 94
Onlist Type-Token: 0.67
Onlist Families: 83
Onlist Family/token: 0.59
Onlist Family/type: 0.88
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Output text: All human beings daydream
There is a controversy about whether all life
forms have reveries right now we will leave it to the
scientists to figure that out Human beings definitely indulge
in this seemingly pointless activity in which their
minds wander I am sitting at my desk
the smell of food is wafting in
the air since it is lunchtime occasionally I get up and
go to a window just to gaze out I see that petals are
floating in the wind birds flying around in playfulness
and bees flitting among flowers I feel mentally
uplifted which is a rare feeling
to have at work My colleagues are passing by my cubicle
as they do so they are throwing oblique glances toward
my desk and wondering if I have gone out of the
building today But probably as you can anticipate
nature always brings us back to reality I hear a page for me over the intercom
This paragraph is very descriptive. I can imagine vividly each action inside and outside your office. The use of present progressive for action verbs and simple present for nonaction verbs is perfect. There are simple, compound, and complex sentences. The semicolon is overused. Use it to join ICs that are closely linked to each other in meaning. In the last line, I doubt that itšs nature that brings you back to reality. What is it? 158 words. 5 academic words, 3.16%
MC
98
Forum: AEG Chapter 4 Verbs in the Present Time Frame
Date: 03-23-2005 11:31
Subject A Reverie
------------------------------------------------------------------------
All human beings daydream. There
is a controversy about whether all life forms have reveries; right now, we will
leave it to the scientists to figure that out. Human beings definitely indulge
in this seemingly pointless activity, in which their minds wander. Since it is
lunchtime, I am sitting at my desk. The smell of food is wafting in the air;
occasionally, I get up and go to a window just to gaze out. I see that petals
are floating in the wind, birds flying around in playfulness and bees flitting
among flowers. I feel mentally uplifted, which is a rare feeling to have at
work. My colleagues are passing by my cubicle; as they do so, they are throwing
oblique glances toward my desk and wondering if I have gone out of the building
today. But, probably as you can anticipate, exigencies of work always bring us
back to reality; I hear a page for me over the intercom.
Beautiful!
MC
100
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Forum: AEG Chapter 4 Verbs in the Present Time Frame
Date: 03-18-2005 20:40
Author: Nguyen, Davis <dat_davis@yahoo.com>
Subject The Presure of Learning
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nowadays the competition among high tech.[6] workers in Silicon Valley companies is very intense and in some cases [7]become extraordinary. Since there are not many job openings around anymore, every company has a better chance to retain and recruit the best-qualified employees. To survive in such of this cruel competition environment, employees must keep learning and exploring themselves so as they can stay competitive. Every employee must rush himself in the fastest lane to study as much as he can. Automobile and electronic industries once dominated society are replacing by information, wireless and bio. technologies. Another factor, which also contributes to the learning pressure, is the globalization. Since Internet is available everywhere, the communication becomes easier so employees do not have to be at one place to work together. In contrast, many companies benefit from the globalization idea. An example is if a company has two rotating shits: daytime in U.S and nighttime from India, there is a saving cost in labor for doing this way of business.
168 words.
Families Types Tokens Percent
First 500: ... ... (131) (68.59%)
K1 Words (1 to 1000): 78 93 147
76.96%
Function: ... ... (89) (46.60%)
Content: ... ... (56) (29.32%)
K2 Words (1001 to 2000): 9 9 10 5.24%
AWL Words (academic): 15 15 16 8.38%
Off-List Words: ? 18 18 9.42%
102+? 135 191 100%
Words in text (tokens): 191
Different words (types): 135
Type-token ratio: 0.71
(Tokens per type: 1.41)
Function-content ratio: 0.47
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Onlist Tokens: 173
Onlist Types: 117
Onlist Type-Token: 0.68
Onlist Families: 102
Onlist Family/token: 0.59
Onlist Family/type: 0.87
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Output text: Nowadays the competition
among high tech workers in Silicon
Valley companies is very intense and
in some cases become extraordinary Since
there are not many job openings around
anymore every company has a better chance to retain and
recruit the best qualified employees
To survive in such of this cruel
competition environment employees must keep
learning and exploring themselves so as they can
stay competitive Every employee must rush
himself in the fastest lane to study as much as he can Automobile
and electronic industries once dominated
society are replacing by information
wireless and bio technologies Another
factor which also contributes to
the learning pressure is the globalization Since
Internet is available everywhere the communication
becomes easier so employees do not have to be at one place to work
together In contrast many companies benefit
from the globalization idea An example is if a
company has two rotating shits daytime in U S and nighttime
from India there is a saving cost in labor
for doing this way of business probably as
you can anticipate nature always brings us
back to reality I hear a page for me over the intercom
Your paragraph is very interesting. You write knowledgeably about competition in the high tech environment. The use of academic vocabulary is high: 15 academic words, 9.42%. There is a variety of sentence types. However, the paragraph does not meet the assignment criteria. A successfully written paragraph recounts actions happening around you at a specific time and place in the present time frame (not in the general truth time frame). It uses present progressive (action verbs), simple present (nonaction verbs) and modals to describe what you hear, see, smell, taste, and/or feel. Examine your classmatesš paragraphs for these criteria. In organizing the ideas, be sure that the topic sentence is broad enough to encompass all of the supporting details, and choose a title that helps the reader focus on the main point.
Reply with a revision by 11PM March 23.
MC
35
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Forum: AEG Chapter 4 Verbs in the Present Time Frame
Date: 03-18-2005 21:16
Author: Nakamura, Kaoru <kaoru@itochu.net>
Subject My Surroundings at 3p.m. on Friday
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When the clock shows three o'clock especially in the Friday afternoon, all the people[8] are getting[9] noisier. I sometimes observe what the people are doing while Išm taking a coffee break in my cubicle. All of the people surrounding me look working at a quick glance[10], but apparently they are only expecting that the clock declares[11] five ošclock, which means the beginning of [12]weekend. In front of my cubicle, the company president and the vice president are discussing[13] seriously, but they are talking[14] about their haircuts. A colleague on my left side is making a phone call, but[15] he is calling a restaurant so that he and his spouse can dine out today. On my right side, two of[16] sales representatives are cleaning up a conference room, but[17] they are chatting[18] their weekend plans. One engineer who should[19] attend the[20] telephone conference after[21] five minutes is obviously still smoking outside. As far as I look[22] around, the printer behind me only[23] keeps working so[24] hard without thinking[25] anything.
168 words.
Families Types Tokens Percent
First 500: ... ... (122) (71.35%)
K1 Words (1 to 1000): 75 83 140
81.87%
Function: ... ... (83) (48.54%)
Content: ... ... (57) (33.33%)
K2 Words (1001 to 2000): 13 14 17 9.94%
AWL Words (academic): 4 4 5 2.92%
Off-List Words: ? 8 9 5.26%
92+? 109 171 100%
Words in text (tokens): 171
Different words (types): 109
Type-token ratio: 0.64
(Tokens per type: 1.57)
Function-content ratio: 0.49
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Onlist Tokens: 162
Onlist Types: 101
Onlist Type-Token: 0.62
Onlist Families: 92
Onlist Family/token: 0.57
Onlist Family/type: 0.91
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Output text: When the clock
shows three o clock especially in
the Friday afternoon all the people are getting noisier
I sometimes observe what the people are doing while I am taking a coffee
break in my cubicle All of the people
surrounding me look working at a quick glance but
apparently they are only expecting that the clock
declares five o clock which means the beginning
of weekend In front of my cubicle the company
president and the vice president are discussing
seriously but they are talking about their haircuts
A colleague on my left side is making a phone
call but he is calling a restaurant so
that he and his spouse can dine out
today On my right side two of sales representatives are cleaning
up a conference room but they are chatting
their weekend plans One engineer who should attend
the telephone conference after five minutes
is obviously still smoking
This paragraph is good in that it describes many actions that are occurring at this moment in time at your workplace. The reader can get a sense of the workers eagerness for the day to end and the weekend to begin. The paragraph uses a variety of sentence types and a few academic words (4 academic words, 2.92%). Except for the opening lines, it uses present progressive verbs very well. It lacks nonaction verbs in the present time frame, though.
Review transitive and intransitive verbs and Sentence Pattern Identification
Compare (1) Habitual/general truth: When the clock shows three o'clock especially in the Friday afternoon, all the people get noisier. (2) Present: Today is Friday. The clock is showing three o'clock, and all the people are getting noisier.
You used ŗpeople˛ three times. Not only is it repetitive, but also, I wonder, Which people? Try to use a more precise word. Try to focus the title a bit tighter, too. Reply with a revision by 11PM march 23.
MC
90
Forum: AEG Chapter 4 Verbs in the Present Time Frame
Date: 03-23-2005 17:04
Subject Revise: What is Occurring in My Office at 3p.m. on
Friday?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When the clock is showing three
o'clock in the Friday afternoon, all the employees in the office are getting
noisier. I sometimes observe what my colleagues do while I take[26]
a coffee break. Today, all of the employees look working at a quick glance[27]
, but apparently they are expecting that the clock declares five ošclock, which
means the beginning of weekend. There are five people in the office now. In
front of my cubicle, the company president and the vice president are discussing[28]
seriously, but they are talking about their haircuts. A colleague on my left
side is making a phone call, but he is speaking to a restaurant so that he and
his spouse can dine out. On my right side, two of[29]
sales representatives are cleaning up a conference room, but they are chatting[30]
their weekend plans. One engineer who should[31]
attend the[32] telephone
conference after[33] five
minutes is obviously still smoking outside. As far as I look around[34],
the printer behind me only[35]
keeps working without thinking[36]
anything. (172)
while I take => while I am taking a break.
they are expecting that the clock declares five ošclock =>
they are waiting for the clock to
declare five ošclock (to strike five)
Here are at least ten phrases that you didnšt correct in your revision. Did you read the file I sent to your Digital Drop Box? Perhaps I didnšt state the problem or solution clearly.
ŗthe employees look working˛ = look like they are working
What does ŗat a quick glance˛ modify? Are the employees taking
a glance or are you? If you are glancing, then put it at the beginning, close
to the sentence in which you use ŗI˛. => At first glance, all of the
employees look like they are working
VT vs VI: are discussing seriously => are discussing something
seriously (VT + DO) / are talking
seriously (VI)
two of sales representatives => two sales representatives / two of the sales representatives
Please look in your DDB and examine my previous comments and corrections.
MC
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Forum: AEG Chapter 4 Verbs in the Present Time Frame Times Read: 4
Date: 03-18-2005 21:19
Author: Teferi, Tigray <mesert28@yahoo.com>
Subject The atmosphare[37] at my house[38]
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The whole family is having own dutys.[39] very active atmospher[40].[41] Every body[42] is working on different thing right now[43]. My brother is writing on his last minute school project. He is in a rash[44],[45] because the project covers[46] more[47] than the time [48]he have[49] left right now. [50]due date for this paper is tomorrow morning . One thing i[51] like about my brother is that,[52] he can stay up the whole night if needed. so[53] in that case, he can be able[54] to finish it;[55] but i am not sure how good and well organised this project can be. My other sisters are coming[56] each others[57] hair turn by turn on the porch. They must be able to finish it with in[58] half hour,[59] since they have accomplished the biggest section of their hair. I am eating while my mom is cooking. Neither my family nor me is not[60] talking right now. we[61] all are busy.
Families Types Tokens Percent
First 500: ... ... (126) (81.29%)
K1 Words (1 to 1000): 82 92 141
90.97%
Function: ... ... (79) (50.97%)
Content: ... ... (62) (40.00%)
K2 Words (1001 to 2000): 4 4 5 3.23%
AWL Words (academic): 2 2 4 2.58%
Off-List Words: ? 5 5 3.23%
88+? 103 155 100%
Words in text (tokens): 155
Different words (types): 103
Type-token ratio: 0.66
(Tokens per type: 1.50)
Function-content ratio: 0.51
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Onlist Tokens: 150
Onlist Types: 98
Onlist Type-Token: 0.65
Onlist Families: 88
Onlist Family/token: 0.59
Onlist Family/type: 0.90
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Output text: The whole family is having
own dutys very active atmospher Every
body is working on different thing right now My brother is writing on his last
minute school project He is in a rash because
the project covers more than the time he have left
right now due date for this paper is tomorrow morning
One thing i like about my brother is that he can stay up the whole night if
needed so in that case he can be able to finish it but i am not sure how good
and well organised this project can be My other
sisters are coming each others hair turn by turn on the porch They
must be able to finish it with in half hour since they have accomplished
the biggest section of their hair
I am eating while my mom is cooking Neither
my family nor me is not talking right now we all are busy
158 words.
The paragraph describes what your brother, sisters, mother and you are doing at this time. Most of the present progressive verb forms are used well, but there arenšt any nonaction verbs in the simple present. There are a lot of mechanical errors (spelling, punctuation, capitalization). The topic sentence should be clear, accurate, and contain a controlling idea that encompasses all of the supporting sentences in the paragraph. A lot of the actions in this paragraph are not duties. Perhaps the topic sentence would be better revised as Everyone in my family is busy doing a different task. The second is a fragment; it lacks a subject and a verb. There are only 2 academic words, 2.58%. Reply to the original message on the DB with a revision by 11PM March 24.
Refer to the Correction Symbols.
MC
71
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Forum: AEG Chapter 4 Verbs in the Present Time Frame Times Read: 3
Date: 03-19-2005 10:36
Author: Thai, Thanh Van <vthai@digitalimpact.com>
Subject Driving in[62] the Raining[63] Day
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Have you ever driven in[64] a hard raining[65] day in[66] 101? [67] I have commuted daily from San Jose to Sam[68] Mateo for several years, but Išm still scared of driving in a raining day[69] in[70] that freeway because there would be[71] an accident that could[72] happen [73]anytime. Today, itšs raining hard, [74] Išm seeing my two windshields[75] wipers wipe[76] out[77] the water while rain keeps pouring over[78] as[79] a nonstop battle, [80]listening to a loudly[81] noise because water drops into my car, [82]seeing[83] nothing accept a grey frog of water[84] is[85] around me, and [86]breaking[87] whenever a red stop light[88] from a precedent[89] car becomes darker[90]. I feel unsecured[91], worried, but calm[92] in order to control my wheel[93]. It sounds[94], when it rains, my brain, my view[95], and my hearing are working at a[96] same time. [97]Thus, I pay[98] more attention, keep[99] a reasonable distance between two cars, and reduce[100] the speed. That is not only good for myself, but for the other drivers too.
(170 words)
The situation you chose to describe is appropriate. Drivers have to pay close attention to what is going on, especially on a rainy day. Try to distinguish between spoken and written English. Instead of talking and asking questions (second person you), use a more formal academic/professional tone. There is only 1 academic word, 0.6%. If you look in the textbook and examine the paragraphs, I think you will see what I mean about tone and academic vocabulary. In the middle of the paragraph is a very tangled ŗsentence˛ of 59 words! Read my detailed comments to untangle this into five separate sentences. For this and other sentences, provide a suitable subject for each verb. There are quite a few wrong words (ww), especially prepositions. When you learn a noun, pay attention to the preposition and article it is used with. Post a revision of this paragraph as a reply by 11PM March 24.
Refer to the Correction Symbols.
MC
68
Families Types Tokens Percent
First 500: ... ... (118) (70.66%)
K1 Words (1 to 1000): 75 88 137
82.04%
Function: ... ... (79) (47.31%)
Content: ... ... (58) (34.73%)
K2 Words (1001 to 2000): 12 15 17 10.18%
AWL Words (academic): 1 1 1 0.60%
Off-List Words: ? 12 12 7.19%
88+? 116 167 100%
Words in text (tokens): 167
Different words (types): 116
Type-token ratio: 0.69
(Tokens per type: 1.44)
Function-content ratio: 0.47
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Onlist Tokens: 155
Onlist Types: 104
Onlist Type-Token: 0.67
Onlist Families: 88
Onlist Family/token: 0.57
Onlist Family/type: 0.85
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Output text: Have you ever driven in a hard raining day in number I have commuted daily from San Jose to Sam Mateo for several years but I am still scared of driving in a raining day in that freeway because there would be an accident that could happen anytime Today it is raining hard I am seeing my two windshields wipers wipe out the water while rain keeps pouring over as a nonstop battle listening to a loudly noise because water drops into my car seeing nothing accept a grey frog of water is around me and breaking whenever a red stop light from a precedent car becomes darker I feel unsecured worried but calm in order to control my wheel It sounds when it rains my brain my view and my hearing are working at a same time Thus I pay more attention keep a reasonable distance between two cars and reduce the speed That is not only good for myself but for the other drivers too
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Forum: AEG Chapter 4 Verbs in the Present Time
Frame
Date: 03-25-2005 14:19
Author: Vu, Duy <duy_vu2001@yahoo.com>
Subject Wonderful day[101]
------------------------------------------------------------------------
It is a beautiful morning at Mission College, with
deep blue skies and crisp air. The smell of the flowers, which are just
blossomless, is wafting in
the air. It is easy to describe the activities
at this time. Sitting in front of the cafeteria and looking through to[102]
the library, I can see the students are walking[103]
rapidly to reach the class time[104],
but a few of students[105]
are standing and talking to each other in the sunshine, like they want their skin
is[106]
tanned by the sun. My friends are genetically[107]
passing me with a smile in[108]
their face[109]; they seem
to be confident to look[110]
toward to their future. The smell of the foods flies out in the air when people
open [111]cafeteriašs[112]
door. I normally donšt eat breakfast instead I have a full lunch.[113]
Somehow I change[114]
my routine if[115] I seat[116]
here in the morning. My stomach reminds[117]
me I should eat something before I go to class. In conclusion, Mission college
is not only a place of opportunity but also is a wonderful place for me to
think about[118]. [119]
Families Types Tokens Percent
First 500: ... ... (140) (75.27%)
K1 Words (1 to 1000): 84 92 165
88.71%
Function: ... ... (100) (53.76%)
Content: ... ... (64) (34.41%)
K2 Words (1001 to 2000): 8 8 9 4.84%
AWL Words (academic): 2 2 2 1.08%
Off-List Words: ? 8 10 5.38%
94+? 110 186 100%
Words in text (tokens): 186
Different words (types): 110
Type-token ratio: 0.59
(Tokens per type: 1.69)
Function-content ratio: 0.54
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Onlist Tokens: 176
Onlist Types: 102
Onlist Type-Token: 0.58
Onlist Families: 94
Onlist Family/token: 0.53
Onlist Family/type: 0.92
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Output text: It is a beautiful
morning at Mission College with deep blue skies and crisp air
The smell of the flowers which are just blossomless
is wafting in the air It is easy to describe the
activities at this time Sitting in front of the cafeteria and
looking through to the library I can see the students are walking rapidly
to reach the class time but a few of students are standing and talking
to each other in the sunshine like they want their skin
is tanned by the sun My friends are genetically
passing me with a smile in their face they seem to be confident
to look toward to their future The smell of
the foods flies out in the air when people open cafeteria door
I normally do not eat breakfast instead
I have a full lunch Somehow I change my routine
if I seat here in the morning My stomach reminds me
I should eat something before I go to class In conclusion Mission
college is not only a place of opportunity but
The topic is appropriate for the assignment. The paragraph uses many present progressive verbs. There are only two academic words. Some other verbs should use present progressive. Here are two sentence patterns to learn:
verb of sensation + obj + gerund
see/hear/feel + obj + ing verb
I can see the students walking.
Compare: The students are walking
want + obj + infinitive
They want their skin to be tanned
There are some word form, word order, and word choice errors. For details, check your DDB. Post a revision as a reply to this message.
Marsha Chan
88-10(late)=78
[1] Capitalize only the first letter.
[2] punc: IC + DC + period. Compare DC + comma + IC + period.
[3] Joining all of these clauses is a bit heavy. Try separating them into three. It may give the reader a chance to perceive/imagine each action.
[4] Again, Išd end the sentence here.
[5] ww: A page certainly is not an example of anything from nature!
[6] omit period
[7] + pres perf aux
[8] which people? strangers? athletes? school children? employees? coworkers?
[9] simp pres: get When = whenever. This is a habitual action/
[10] Unclear: ŗlook working˛ = ? What is at a quick glance supposed to modify?
[11] tns: BE going to
[12] + art
[13] discuss = vt (object required)
[14] + adv,
e.g., only, merely, simply
[15] but should introduce a contrast: but it isnšt a
business call; he is calling
[16] two s. r. or two of the s. r.
[17] and? See previous comment.
[18] chat = vi
(requires prep about)
[19] ww: has to / must
[20] ww: a
[21] ww: in
[22] ww: As I look
[23] wo: only the printer behind me
[24] Omit so unless you provide a result clause: so hard that + result
[25] think = vi
[26] tns: pres prog
[27] You didnšt respond to this problem. Please see my comment on your first draft.
[28] You didnšt respond to this problem. Please see my comment on your first draft.
[29] You didnšt respond to this problem. Please see my comment on your first draft.
[30] You didnšt respond to this problem. Please see my comment on your first draft.
[31] You didnšt respond to this problem. Please see my comment on your first draft.
[32] You didnšt respond to this problem. Please see my comment on your first draft.
[33] You didnšt respond to this problem. Please see my comment on your first draft.
[34] You didnšt respond to this problem. Please see my comment on your first draft.
[35] You didnšt respond to this problem. Please see my comment on your first draft.
[36] You didnšt respond to this problem. Please see my comment on your first draft.
[37] sp
[38] I have already told you several times before to capitalize all main words of a title! Please do that!
[39] ww. A lot of the actions in this paragraph are not duties.
[40] sp
[41] frag
[42] sp: one word
[43] If you use the revised first sentence I gave you, this sentence is repetitive and should be deleted.
[44] sp: rush
[45] punc: IC + DC (Compare DC + comma + IC)
[46] ww: takestime
[47] + obj (see above)
[48] omit
[49] sva
[50] cap, art
[51] Always capitalize the first person pronoun I.
[52] punc: Donšt put a comma between the subordinator and the subject in a DC.
[53] Omit.
Capitalize In
[54] ww: Donšt
use can with able. Use a form of the verb BE (be able to)
[55] punc: Use a comma, not a semicolon, before a cc.
[56] ww: combing
[57] punc: possessive
[58] sp: one word
[59] punc: Donšt put a comma between the subordinator and the subject in a DC.
[60] Donšt use
three negatives! Nobody in our family is talking
[61] cap.
[62] ww: on
a day
[63] wf: adj
[64] ww: on
a day
[65] wf: adj
[66] ww: on a road, street, highway, etc.
[67] This is a good opener for a speech with a live audience, but this is not a speech.
[68] sp
[69] ww: Fix this prep phr as shown above
[70] ww: on a road, street, highway, etc.
[71] omit: there would be, that
[72] wf: can
[73] prep: at (a time)
[74] cs
[75] wf: omit s
[76] tns: pres prog
[77] ww: off (of a
surface) vs. out (of a container)
[78] ww: down
[79] ww: in
a battle
[80] End the sentence. Whatšs the subject of listening? Certainly the rain is not listening.
[81] wf: adj
[82] End the sentence. Whatšs the subject of seeing? Certainly the rain is not seeing.
[83] Be careful of action vs nonaction verbs and the tense to use.
[84] ww: What is a frog of water?
[85] Omit. (See sthg in a place)
[86] End the sentence. Whatšs the subject of seeing? Certainly the rain is not the subject.
[87] sp
[88] ww: Do you mean a red tail light from the car in front of you?
[89] ww
[90] ww: brighter?
[91] ww: insecure
[92] ww? Itšs hard to imagine these three feelings at once.
[93] ww: steering wheel?
[94] ww: It sounds = ?
[95] ww: sight?
[96] ww: the same time
[97] Donšt you use your brain, sight and hearing even when it isnšt raining?
[98] tns: pres prog
[99] tns: pres prog
[100] tns: pres prog
[101] Capitalize all the main words of a title.
[102] ww: If you are sitting inside the cafeteria, you can look through the window, but if you are outside the cafeteria, you can look at the library
[103]
wf: see/hear/feel + obj + ing verb: I can see the students walking. Compare: The students are walking
[104] ww: on time
[105] ww: a few students.
[106] wf: want + obj + inf: they want their skin to be
[107] ww
[108] ww
[109] wf: pl
[110]
wf, wo, ww: confidently looking forward to
[111] +art
[112]
wf: Donšt use possessive case with inanimate nouns. This noun can be used to
describe another noun, just like book store, dance hall.
[113] ro
[114] tns: pres. prog.
[115]
ww: as, while
[116] wf: v.; tns: pres. prog.
[117] tns: pres. prog.
[118] Omit the prep or add an object.
[119] This conclusion doesnšt really match the content of the action in the paragraph.