Which students are ready for ESL 970RW/970GW/980?

Skim writing assignments submitted by the selected students in ESL 970G.

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Student 1

Good Manners are Important

Ch 3 Paragraph in the Past Time Frame, 150-175 words using different verb tenses in the past and present time frames. Strive to include at least 5% words from the Academic Word List (AWL).

2/20/14

 

        ÒDonÕt talk with your mouth full.Ó Perhaps, we have heard the same or similar orders. In essence, good manners can help people feel less uncomfortable in our social life.

     I still remember clearly the incident which happened five years ago when I was in my native country---Chain. It was a hot summer day, and I was working at my brotherÕs tea house as a new manager. Suddenly, three tall young Tibetan men entered our store, instead of asking me for a cup of tea, they went straightly to the corner where the only table was isolated from others.  For some reason, we have prejudice about Tibetan, for they wear special costume with sharp knives underneath, not clearly. Everyone in this house had noticed the four men, but no one looked at them; somehow, I persuaded myself to serve them. I hadnÕt been hesitating for a long time; then Iapproached their table to ask them whether they needed something to drink. When I came closer, I couldnÕt believe what I saw because they were squatting and lying on the sofa with their dirty shoes. In addition, they didnÕt order anything, nor replied my question. My brother motioned me to leave. I knew something bad could happen, so I asked him let me handle this, one more chance. Then I brought four glass of water to the table, while I was putting the glass, one of them gave me his cell phone. After the conversation on the phone, I understood why because these people only speak dialect.

     After this incident, I truly believe that good manners can prevent many unexpected incidents and help our life run smoothly.

276 words. AWL 1.78% incident incident incidents isolated similar

 

Lookism in Today's Society

Compose an academically written paragraph of 150-175 words using different action verbs in any time frame. Use adverb clauses and adverb phrases to show time, to give reasons, to show concession or contrast, to show place, and to show purpose. Strive to include at least 5% words from the Academic Word List (AWL)

5/1/2014

 

I used to think that people who have nice appearance tend to have more opportunities: in dating, employment, and so forth. Having heard someone being fired of being too attractive, I realize that beauty can be disadvantage. Similarly, people are frequently being judged of their appearance, such as too short, fat and ugly. Even though we dislike being judged by lookists, we usually attempt to predict othersÕ out looking and behaviors. For example, we might have stereotypes about someone who has dirty clothes or ugly face. Of course everyone has different degree of discrimination. It is fine to keep this opinion to ourselves, but when this prejudice became judgement, it is not fine. Although oneÕs appearance should not be judged, to wear appropriate clothing is important.  I think that we should not judge people before we really know her or him, and avoiding being lookism is necessary.

147 words. 2.72% AWL appropriate discrimination predict similarly

 

Obamacare

Chapter 13 Conditionals: Compose 10 sentences about one topic. Use real and unreal conditionals: past, present and future. Strive to include at least 5% words from the Academic Word List (AWL).

5/8/2014

 

1Have you ever wish that you could have access to affordable or free healthcare. That was   what Obamacare supposed to be.

2. It is necessary to have health insurance if you live in United States because of the expensive medical expenses.

3. I was disappointed when I tried to enroll Obamacare. Only if my husband and I had no income, we couldapply for free health care.

4. If I apply Obamacare now, I will pay the same money as I paid before.

5. My classmate who has low income and a teenager son has free Obamacare. If I were her, I could have free Obamacare too.

6. If my husband and I had had no income, we could have gotten free health care.

7. If I had free health care, I would be happy.

8. If I find a full time job, my employer might pay my health insurance.

9. If you were me, what would you think? Would you look for a full time job, or would you wait until graduate?

10.  I wish Obamacare could change litter bit, so that I could not have to look for a full time job.

4.32% AWL: access income income income job job job medical

Student 2

Why Does He Enjoy Kendo (a Beautiful Japanese Martial Art, Like Fencing)?

Ch 6 Nouns and Noun Modifiers & 7 Articles and Other Determiners: Compose an academically written paragraph of 150-175 words using different action verbs in any time frame. Strive to include at least 5% words from the Academic Word List (AWL).

3/28/2014

 

 When I was twenty seven, I saw a woman model that was practicing some martial art in a commercial film on television. I was very impressed and never saw the martial art which was named ÒKendoÓ before. This is Japanese fencing. After a week, I signed up for a Kendo training center and I have been practicing two or three times a week. I am so happy and have decreased my stress while I practice it. ItÕs sometimes depressing when I donÕt achieve my expected level. So I try to reach a realistic goal which balances through home lifecareer and hoppy.

 I took a Kendo tournament which was attended by about two hundred competitors last Sunday in San Jose. Even if I couldnÕt get any metal, I had a feeling of satisfaction. The result was that I succeeded to go to the individual manÕs quarterfinal and group manÕs semifinal.

 I hope continue to make a Kendo practice forever if not, I canÕt move my body. I am going to teach Kendo skills and spirit to others.

177 words. 2.76% AWL: achieve depressing goal individual stress

 

Does It Need Moral Guidelines When He Debates on the Internet?

Ch 12 Adverb Clauses and Adverb Phrases: Compose an academically written paragraph of 150-175 words using different action verbs in any time frame. Use adverb clauses and adverb phrases to show time, to give reasons, to show concession or contrast, to show place, and to show purpose.

 

5/2/2014

 Most of the people use the internet for news, gathering information,and online shopping. Also, he can debate about serious and light issues even though he hasnÕt any knowledge about it and he isnÕt an adult. It is very important for us to take freely because one may not like to be controlled by forced power. Moreover, it creates increased numbers of debaters who donÕt want to open to the public with his information. By the time he joins a debate, he hopes to discuss about some topic without pressure and heavy responsibility. But, he gives a lot of good idea and informations when want to attend a debate. Because, he dislikes to respond about his idea online, he thinks that it doesnÕt need to regulate the internet.

 

 Do you agree that the regulation has a negative effect to debate online while itÕs controlled by the government? Yes, I agree that. It must be minimized government interference but it need to moral guidelines online. He who is a troublemaker generates so many rumors and insult to others when he debates or discussions without the guidelines. In addition, some of them attacks someone who isnÕt guilty and they go to jail due to the fact that he lie . So we try to keep good moral when use of the internet.

219 words. 7.56% AWL: adult creates debate debate debate debate debates generates guidelines guidelines issues minimized negative regulate regulation respond topic

Student 3 Mbumba, Julie

Ch 3 Paragraph in the Past Time Frame, 150-175 words using different verb tenses in the past and present time frames. Strive to include at least 5% words from the Academic Word List (AWL).

past

Last monday round 10: 15pm  i had big accident to my job one of my patient felt and she was in a lot pain .

It was very sad for that accident  and also it was just 15 minute for me to get off from work but guess i had to stay long because i had to fill all the fall

form and get report done before got off for my chift . After i got all the papers done i realized that my patient was in a lot pain .

so i had to called or X-ray to come do the X-ray good thing the came and X-ray was done in hour after doing that we got the result that she has broken her hip

that was very sag for 89years old to get that kind of accident . we sent her to the hospital  . The next day  that was last tuesday we called the hospital to find

out how she was doing they talked us that she is going to have surgery .Every one felt bag with that new. That was my bag day at work

189 words. 0.54% AWL: job

 

Technology has made our life easier

Chapter 5 The Passive: Compose an academically written paragraph of 150-175 words using different action verbs in any time frame. Use both active and passive voice verbs. Strive to include at least 5% words from the Academic Word List (AWL).

 

3/16/2014

Animated movies have changed a lot than before. Before the movie was drawn by hands . Today most animated film are not drawn by hand. The animation is done by computer software. Also special effects for movies , such as star wars , are done by computer animation. To create the illusion of movement , an image is put on the computer and then quickly replaced by a similar image with a small change. While this technique is similar to hand drawn animation the work can be done much faster by computer.

92 words. 11.36% AWL: computer computer computer computer create image image similar similar technique

A Nation of Immigrants

Ch 12 Adverb Clauses and Adverb Phrases: Compose an academically written paragraph of 150-175 words using different action verbs in any time frame. Use adverb clauses and adverb phrases to show time, to give reasons, to show concession or contrast, to show place, and to show purpose. Strive to include at least 5% words from the Academic Word List (AWL).

 

what do immigrants have to give up ? What do they gain?The United States is unique in that it is a nation of immigrants ,old and new.The US is the country where most immigrants like to live. Many immigrants came to US because of political unrest and economic problem . also many people came besauce of famine , in another side many people came so that they could be reunited with their families who had came before. I think U.S is the country everybody can live her or his dream life. Even though the US economic is down , but people still apply for America visa.

 

106 words. 6.86% AWL: economic economic immigrants immigrants immigrants immigrants unique

Student 4 Nguyen, Binh

My childhood

Ch 3 Paragraph in the Past Time Frame, 150-175 words using different verb tenses in the past and present time frames. Strive to include at least 5% words from the Academic Word List (AWL).

 

When I was young, I walked to school every day. My school was too far away from my house but it didnÕt mean to me. Some time, I often met my friends when I was going to school. After 2 years, I hadnÕt walked to school anymore, instead I went to school by bicycle. I had been drivingbicycle to school for a long time after that. My friends drove bicycle to school as well. At that time, we were always waiting others and wenttogether, that was the fun time in my life.

 

92 words. 0.00% AWL: N/A

 

study

Chapter 13 Conditionals: Compose 10 sentences about one topic. Use real and unreal conditionals: past, present and future. Strive to include at least 5% words from the Academic Word List (AWL).

5/9/2014

 

if it not raining in the morning, he goes to school by bicycle

if he feels strong enough, he can walk to school

if you are finished your homework, you can play computer

if he didnÕt spend a lot of time playing game, he can get a good grade on that test

even if he feels better or not, he will take a final test tomorrow

if he went to bed late, he felt tire when he wake up

if he had a lot of money, he could travel to the Moon in Summer

if he had spent his time to study, he could have passed the test

if he could speak English fluently, he doesnÕt need to study ESL classes

he doesnÕt like some people act as if they know about everything

2.21 AWL: computer final grade

 

My favorite sport

Ch 6 Nouns and Noun Modifiers & 7 Articles and Other Determiners: Compose an academically written paragraph of 150-175 words using different action verbs in any time frame. Strive to include at least 5% words from the Academic Word List (AWL).

5/1/2014

 

When I was young, I have loved soccer. I often played it with my friends at school where I had many memories. The reason I like to play soccerbecause it helps my health and keep in touch with my friends. Since 2009, I left Vietnam in order to move to America, I have still been playing this sporteven though my life is busy. I often play it at the park every Saturday. Actually, if I have time, I will play much more so that I can get a better health. One of interesting events is we have BBQ at the park after playing soccer game.  

So now IÕm happy with my life in the US.

115 words. 0.00% AWL: N/A

 

Student 5 Nguyen, Dung

MY FAVORITE HOBBY

Ch 6 Nouns and Noun Modifiers & 7 Articles and Other Determiners: Compose an academically written paragraph of 150-175 words using different action verbs in any time frame. Strive to include at least 5% words from the Academic Word List (AWL).

3/27/2014

 

Everybody has different hobbies that they like to do for fun or just to relax. There are many kind of activities like football, basketball, swimming, or baseball. It all depends on each personality. For me, volleyball is my favorite hobby because it's part of my life and I can not live without it.
Since I was a little girl I played volleyball in the school team and also with my friends in the neighborhood. My mother told me that I liked kicking the ball around and had so much fun with it when I was only about two years old. Since then, playing volleyball is my favorite's sport and it is my hobby whenever I have free time.

118 words. 1.68% AWL: relax team

 

 

NEW LIFE

Ch 12 Adverb Clauses and Adverb Phrases: Compose an academically written paragraph of 150-175 words using different action verbs in any time frame. Use adverb clauses and adverb phrases to show time, to give reasons, to show concession or contrast, to show place, and to show purpose.

5/4/2014

 

When i was 19 years olds, my family moved to the United States. I was a hard time for me because i need to improve new life in here. For learing new language, i had to try in many way to improve it and also, i had lots of failure. It couldn't make me give up anythings. About finding jobs, I went anywhere where they  are hiring and did many fail interview. I knew the life in USA is not easy that's why i need to try as best as i can. So, i have good life like now. 

99 words

 

REASON WHY DONT LET CHILDREN SPEND SO MANY TIME TO USE TECHNOLOGY

Chapter 13 Conditionals: Compose 10 sentences about one topic. Use real and unreal conditionals: past, present and future. Strive to include at least 5% words from the Academic Word List (AWL).

5/8/2014

 

All of you knew that send so many hours watching TV and sitting in front of computers are not only good for health but also not good for social experiences.

Now, children sent most of their time for electronic like doing their homework, watching video, listen music or learning something. But, they donÕt know that it is dangerous for them. If they sit in front of TV or computer so long, their eyes will be vicinity and their brain will work less. The important thing is they canÕt learn any new things from social, so if they graduate, it is hard for them to get good jobs. Let them play outside equal let them make my friends. It will help them a lot now and in the future. Also, their healthy will be fallen because they do not exercise. In my opinion, donÕt let your children spend so many time on that. We must organize their time and encourage them to play outside as much as they can. It helps them to control their body and reduce sick. 

178 words. 0.99% AWL: jobs

Student 6 Trinh, Steffanie

The moon

Chapter 2 Future: Compose a short essay of 150-175 words using different verb tenses in the future time frames. Strive to include at least 5% words from the Academic Word List (AWL).

2/27/2014

 

   When  I   was   a  kid,   I  listened   a  lot  of    stories   about   the   moon ( They  aren't   true   stories)  I  dreamed   about   the  moon.  Some  day  people   will   fly   over  to   the  moon.They  will  have gotten   a lot   of  gold.   They  will have gotten  a lot  of   money  .   People  will  have   the  happy life in  the moon.   People  will  have   a lot  of  free land  to   build   the   nice  houses.    We   won't   have  to  go  to work   By  the   time  the   dream   comes   true,  I  will   have   finished my  life.

 

 91 words. 0.00% AWL

Poor chicken

Chapter 5 The Passive: Compose an academically written paragraph of 150-175 words using different action verbs in any time frame. Use both active and passive voice verbs. Strive to include at least 5% words from the Academic Word List (AWL).

3/13/2014

 

Chickens  were  killed  in many ways.   In my  country, most  people  went  to  the  free market  and  bought  the 

alive ,fat chicken .  Chicken got cut  their throat   by the cheff cook  when  they  were  still alive.  Some  chicken  could run

 around the  kitchen after  their throat  got cut .  Their  blood  spread   all over  the kitchen . Look   really  scarry  ! .

Lucky,  we don't   see   how  the  chicken  got  killed   before    came  to  the  super  markets  here  but  they  got  cut  in 

difference ways  also.  How  poor  the  chicken !  

 91 words. 0.00% AWL